This is the sharing of Associate.Pr.Dr. Tran Thanh Nam – Head of Education Department, VNU University of Education at the conference “how to become smart and experienced parents” which was held on October 05, 2019 at Sunshine Maple Bear Kindergarten.
At the opening stage of the talk, Dr. Nam proposes the assumptions: Children often reflect teaching values inherited from parents and school. And, parent should be the top-priority people in leading their own children to happiness, joy, confidence.
To clarify the above overview, associate. Pr. Tran Thanh Nam has drawn up some familiar situations in the method of educating of some parents at present. As his statements, when the parents have “belief” that: love is to give punishment, scolding is to show interest, too much rewarding shall make the children be subjective and arrogant; if light punishment is not effective, harder punishment shall be effective …
According to him, punishments originated from above overviews are effective in short-term period. The children’s behaviors shall become much more serious in the long-term duration and lead them into many other bad effects such as: lower their confidence, make them become easy to get angry, wish to counter-reaction, try to lie to the adults, become disobedient to all punishments, and try to run away or dropping out… Mistakes in dealing with children’s errors keep accumulating and pushing them away from parents, creating a great generation gap, which leads to parents – children possibility of becoming unable to talk to each other. Even if the children feel the conflict with your parents that they are left alone in the family without empathy to understand each other through their perspectives, such situation can be the last drop of water to overflow and negative behaviors without harmful happening consideration shall occur.
Associate.Pr.Dr assumes that if we want to know why the children show their wrong reactions to the wishes of parents, we should spend time understanding ourselves and our children. Because of the mutual understanding, the parent shall know how to make their children become obedient and happy. “To make them become happier, we should satisfy our children’s demands. Children should be beloved, respected, understood, sympathized and they shall realize that they show their own meanings to get happiness. The children shall feel secured when they are beloved and well-treated with the thoughtful and close-knit attitude. Our children shall realize that they are understood and respected because all of their overviews are listened. When we give them much encouragement and motivation, they shall realize their own position”. D. Nam shares.
To discuss what our children want to get from their children when facing frightening situations, Dr.Nam suggests an interesting comparison: “The mother cat and its babies are sleeping peacefully in a warm nest. A kitten wakes up, curious to explore the world. Meeting the stranger, he hissed in fear, his entire body turned upside down and jumped back. The mother cat immediately rushed over, not paying attention to anything else, immediately releasing the baby to the nest, licking and patting until its kitten’s fur was soft and smooth again. Let’s wonder whether we can do like a mother cat or not? ” – Dr. Nam shares.
According to the Mr. Nam’s sharing, when they feel that there is a real necessity and expect the work to be completed, parents should give effective instructions for their children to be allowed to follow properly. For behaviors that are difficult to change, it is necessary to use an effective tool to create incentives for change, which is to build a reward system. This will help children perform behaviors more easily, feel like they have the ability to work well and be proud of themselves doing good jobs. At the same time, parents also need punishements to manage children’s bad behaviors such as proactive ignoring, calming…
Besides, to manage the children’s behaviors beyond the family and public places, parents should instruct the children to establish the plan before going out, rules in public places and build up rewards for compliance with principles and consequences of disobedience, assignment of works and tasks to the children as well coordinate with teachers to support the children at the school.
Together with sharing of Associate.Pr.Dr. Tran Thanh Nam, parents joining in the event “How to become smart and experienced parent” had a memorable day with their children through experiencing in activities at Sunshine Maple Bear. These activities help them practice some significant skills and create the close connection between parents and children.